Smile With A Shrug
by Cloudlessly
Summary: Axel's thinking about Roxas and this whole being a heartless. More he thinks, the less it makes sense to him and thus he has a friend there to just chill with while he's thinking.


**A.N: **I wrote this randomly like last week after tons of Axel, Demyx and Roxas videos on Youtube because they're addicting. DON'T QUESTION ME : It's nothing spetacular, just Axel writing through me.

**Fandom: **Kingdom Hearts 2.  
**Title:** Smile with a shrugg.  
**Summary: **Axel's thinking about Roxas and this whole being a heartless. More he thinks, the less it makes sense to him; and thus he has a friend there to just chill with while he's thinking.  
**Pairing:** Axel/Demyx... more friendship than anything. Many mentions of Roxas.  
**Rating:** PG-13.  
**Warning:** Maybe Axel's OOC, Demyx, definately not. (least not from my end of things, my Demyx muse is strong 3 ) Cursing.  
**Written To:** My window open so I could hear outside and this song by Fear Factory off the RE Soundtrack.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**  
Nice.**

There was an understanding that they did not have hearts, there was this understanding that not having a heart meant you couldn't feel but if that were the case how come the redhead _knew_ it felt nice to be nearly naked in the grass, ah well he really wasn't it was more to the fact that his trench was off, boots kicked off tipped over in the grass near boots of almost the same size designed differently but even more doofily tipped over than his own.

Shoulder blades rolled back comfortably into the deep damp earth, bristling grazes of grass tickled the tanned skin making the devil's green eyes flutter shut as if this the simple act was ectasty, the dampness feeling like a small sting but a good one when he placed his folded hands behind his head.

If they didn't have hearts why did this _feel_ so good?

_Roxas..._ he thought with a small amused smirk that threatened to turn into a frown, eyes barely opening to darkened star filled sky above, each little white star he knew was a burning ball of fire, something he felt connected to like memories long forgotten; some of of XIII others of the self created from.

There was the soft sound of rock music floating up from the left side of him.

**Dark bodies floating in darkness, no sign of light ever given...**

He could almost feel who lay on the other side of the pair of headphones left in the middle of them, it was a stupid idea if you asked him but the sitarist seemed insistent that Axel be able to hear the music too, no matter how _annoyingly_ low it was to catch all the words.

_What an idiot..._ Axel paused in this thought for a moment, mouth partially opening when he turned his head slightly just to peep a eye open at the blond who's hands rested on chest and stomach, too peaceful in the arch of his face and the curve of the corners of his mouth; one might say the blond looked to be in a coma or dead but Axel had come to know the sometimes bouncy Number lX was a dreaming Nobody, lost inside his head for hours if you let him be.

And ...

That dreamy Nobody was helping him in the pain of existance even if he didn't want to admit that, in more ways than he'd like to figure out.

Axel sighed, rolling his shoulders a little.

If they didn't have hearts why did he feel that? Because he felt the rush of air leaving his mouth, cooling the wet lips he had recently licked. Ah he was avoiding these damn thoughts again, there were some feelings he didn't want to feel and others he took pleasure in.

He knew he missed Roxas more than anything in the world right now.

He knew it _felt_ even more incomplete now that the dark haired blond was gone, some days it felt like a deep darkness was consuming his insides, it didn't burn because burning he would have liked, it didn't feel like drowning because to drown would be to fill whole again.

No, it just felt empty and meaningless like a deep dark hole of an existance that most people ended up committing suicide for.

**Alonement.**

To be pathetically lonely. To lose when you felt wanted, needed and then only to feel those opposites; Isn't that what humans did when they couldn't take living anymore?

If they didn't have hearts why would a nobody wonder about taking his own life? Wasn't it their job to live in order to complete the tasks given? And Think of nothing else?

Death should be the furtherest thing from his mind.

For a second that thought crossed his mind stronger; What if a Nobody could do the same thing? Would it work? Did their bodies work the same? _Axel, Axel, Axel, come on, you're no fucking coward. Don't start being one now._ the chiding inner voice said to him in a conscending but understanding way.

He was stronger than death.

The twittering legs of crickets in the distance made a tingle down his spine when the gentle combination of wind ghosted over the front of his body like a invisible hand, little things he was coming to appreciate more and more... learning more and more that everything...

**I saw my own voice in the dark of lonliness...**

"That's _real_ stupid you know that," Axel finally spoke up, eyes flickering open to stare at the stars in a way that seemed to burn with a dispassionate desire for their burn, jerking his thumb momentarilly back toward the headphones.

"...Say what?," The blond's voice was a pitch higher than his but you could tell it was male, you could tell he was off guard especially when he turned with his eyebrows knitted down in a slight frown, the blue eyes that had opened seemed to hold the same sort of smoky mist his own did, they weren't too dark and they weren't too light but they were different, least that was his first thought when he seen them flutter.

Axel grunted a little reaching out to tap the headphones with a soft tink when his eyes shot back to the sky, casually he sifted his hand back behind his head with a an almost vacant expression. "The headphones...," he said in a tone that suggested it was obvious, but there was a hint of a pause like he wanted to say something else.

Demyx's blond brows unfurrowed his face setting back into a serene one that had a edging grin coming over it, studying the redhead's arched yet filled face, he noted that everything stood out on Axel even his cheeks and nose; almost like nothing could go unnoticed on him, especially not when the moonlight made him appear almost translucent blue.

Demyx only grinned that wide mouthed grin making a noise that suggested he was amused as he allowed his head to fall back in the lengthy blades of grass. "Ooooh... Ohha! Don't lie, you like it," Demyx stated evenly momentarilly rubbing his stomach when he yawned, the outside was nice, everything was nice and the crickets that perched on leaves twitching the backs of their legs together made such a musical beat.

"You're wrong IX, it's a little too low making it _real_ annoying," Axel's smart remark laced with irritation came smoothly like it was second nature to leave his mouth, there was barely time to think before the next words came, slightly reaching out to push the headphones Demyx's way. "Just keep the things to yourself."

"Hey Hey now, the names Demyx. Namine messing with _your_ memories now too?," Demyx joked turning on his right side while crossing his arms with his neck craned a little dangerously against the ground, the sitarist's blue eyes gazed onto the other in a way that unsettled the redhead until they easily turned away.

"She knows better than that," Axel stated waving his hand a little, like he had taken the question seriously and he had to say the least, that made Demyx snort harshly than start snickering a little too, prompting Axel to arch a red brow in curiousity. "What?"

Demyx looked at him again but soon the laughter came, it was a quiet tired kind that slowly stopped when Axel shot him a slightly disapproving look that seemed between serious and 'hey I really wanna fucking know. Wanna give me a heads up?' Demyx cleared his throat slightly with a smile. "I was messing with ya, I didn't mean it seriously!"

Axel stared for a moment until it appeared to have dawned on him, the look that came over his face looked more like a yeah... don't make me feel stupid again, you might get a Chakram to the face. "Your name? Not important enough to remember," Axel stated waving his hand through the chilled air, settling his eyes forward again.

That was a lie, it had been at least six months since Roxas had left and it was four now that Demyx was the only Org member he hung out with; consistently in sincerity.

He knew the kid's name by now. Hell .. he was helping him learn that everything in life... had a beat.

"You're soooo meannn Axel, where's your heart buddy?," Demyx whined with a little smirk, winking when the redhead shot him a glare looking about ready to hit him upside the head with anything he could get his gloved hands on. "I get it, I get itttt... you left it in your..."

Axel almost sighed in a heavy way, he knew what was coming next.

It was stupid, inane, retarded, foolish, every word in the book he could find to kill it.

"PANTS!," Demyx finished when he reached down into the redhead's pocket only to pull out a velvet red hearted plushy from Axel's pocket the size of the palm of Axel's own hand and he had pretty big hands; granted he could never figure out how the heart got there but it was still pretty stupid if he said it was stupid. "See here, you left it in there again. You gotta stop doing that!"

Axel refused the small smile that threatened to come across his lips, reaching out to snatch the heart from the outstretched hand before he chucked it behind his head. "If it was in my pants, it shouldn't be there should it?"

Demyx stared for a only a second; continuing to smile with a shrug.


End file.
